I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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