WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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