just tell him i said nine months
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Drake has all the answers
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
