For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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