the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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