i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
