Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
