period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
