I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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