At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
