You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
