talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there is puke in my bra ... again
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