Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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