weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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