somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
