And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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