So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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