We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
