Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
