Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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