I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
