I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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