whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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