I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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