My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
