Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
