weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
