we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
