Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
