you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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