i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
