That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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