"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
