Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
