her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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