Me. At least after what I've been through.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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