I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We got so high we made milksteak
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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