You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize