Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and she was petting her beer can
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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