Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cockslap morals
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
