last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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