Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
