are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
