okay pat passed out under dana's car
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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