Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
