we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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