mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
