I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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