My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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