I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
