Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
