Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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