I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
