My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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