I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
