i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
