best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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