Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize