Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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