help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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