So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
