I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize