Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
